Confession: I must have looked at my pictures at least a hundred times yesterday…LOL I’m in complete awe! I’m still giddy as a school child…in sheer disbelief that I am actually.doing.this.

Oh, and I mentioned this in my comments, but it’s worth mentioning again. My Monday weigh-in had me at 19.5 lbs lost….well, when I got home that evening and weighed myself out of curiosity the freakin’ scale told me I was EXACTLY 236.0. Which is exactly 20 lbs lost! So, I suppose in reality I DID lose that 20 afterall, haha….I don’t know where that 1/2 pound magically disappeared to throughout the day…but I’m glad it did. :-P

I really, really need to get my butt back into workout mode. I am almost feeling guilty about still losing weight even though I haven’t worked out in like a week and a half. (or has it been two weeks?!) Not sure what’s going on or why I’ve been slacking, but it’s definitely been too long. I know what started it was when I fell and couldn’t really do much that first week, but I have no excuse since then…So maybe I’ll hit the gym or walk with my girls tonight after dinner. :-D

Ok. Now that I got that out of the way, I’ll talk about what I really wanted to blog about today. Exposing myself. I can’t believe I’m even considering it. I’ve read several blogs of courageous women who shared a photo of their body. The way it is right now. They also wrote all the things they love about their body. When I saw the first one, I thought to myself “I could never do that”.  In fact, I had the same exact thought when I saw the second one. and the third. And so on. There are a lot of reasons why I thought I would never do it. I don’t like the way my body looks. I’m modest. I have stretch marks. I’m pale. I could write a novel on all the things I don’t like about it. I’ve mentioned before that I have been taking bare belly photos of myself since the beginning, but don’t feel comfortable posting them just yet. I guess I’m waiting until my body no longer looks like that to post it for the world to see, but what does that accomplish really? I’ll be able to say “that WAS me” instead of “this IS me” ? So? They’re ALL me, whether I’m fat or not, it’s still ME. I think a part of me is scared that I’ll give up – quit like I always have – and not see thing losing weight thing through. Then what? Then I’ve bared myself to the world for nothing? I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but what triggered these thoughts was MizFit’s post this morning and it’s had me thinking about this all day. And really considering exposing myself.

So, we’ll see. I’m spending today just reacquainting myself with my body.

Looking at it from a different perspective.

Trying to recognize the parts that I do truly love regardless of my size.

I guess THAT’s the whole point, huh?