I weighed in this morning at 207.5 lbs which is a .5 lb loss for the week. This brings my total weight loss so far to 48.5 pounds.
Today was another “heavy” day for me and it started from the time I got out of bed this morning.
I’m not sure if I mentioned this yet or not, but for the past couple of weeks I’ve been having pain in my lower back that just won’t go away. Well, I guess all the work I did this weekend (getting ready for Easter festivities and dinner) agitated it because it was on fire today. I kept thinking about the 10K I’m supposed to do next weekend and how in the hell can I do a 10K with back pain like that? Just when I was starting to believe I could actually do well in it and now my freakin’ body won’t cooperate.
Then I got to work and it was a typical chaotic Monday. I made the decision fairly early in the morning to just skip lunch because I knew I wanted nothing more than to stuff my face. I thought if I just ignored it that the emotional food cravings would just magically disappear. So at lunchtime I decided to just go for a ride in my car and listen to some good music when BAM! I came *this close* to hitting another car.
And it totally would have been my fault.
And the other driver was the sweetest little old man…I felt horrible when I thought about how bad I must have scared him. 
It was then that I knew the inevitable was about to happen. Despite my best efforts to resist an emotional binge eating episode, I soon found myself looking through an old friend’s window…a friend I hadn’t visited in months. The words “I’ll have a Whopper with cheese combo with a coke” just rolled off my tongue with such ease…it was as if we’d never been separated.
I wish I could tell you that was the only poor choice I made today, but no, it wasn’t. Not by a long shot. I won’t gross you out with all of the artery clogging details, but suffice it to say that my little stop at Burger King was just the first of many really, really poor choices today.
As epic failish (yes, failish!) as today was, there was one victory. I didn’t actually drink any of the Coke that I ordered. I held it my hands and sniffed it even, and OMG did I want some…but for some reason I was able to resist that. I guess the fact that I’ve been counting the days since I’d had any helped me…in my head I knew that it had been 189 days and if I took a sip I’d have to start counting over. Thank God for small victories, huh?
I suppose that’s enough negativity for one night. I’m off to bed and gonna pray for a better day tomorrow. If there’s one thing I’ve learned through this journey is that it’s a dynamic process. There’ll be good days and there’ll be bad days, but they’re all learning experiences.
126.7 miles walked/jogged/ran since January 1st. (2010 Goal: 500)
45.5 miles biked since January 1st. (2010 Goal: 300)
(3) 5K finished since January 1st. (2010 Goal: 12)
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
It sounds like it was a challenging day. I hope you sleep very well and wake up feeling rested and I hope your back is feeling better. Tomorrow is a new day. I am so impressed that you didn’t drink the coke. You coudn’t bring your self to drink the coke. That is progress. You have come so far Josie. Let today be only a blip and gently move forward with your badass self. Holler if you need any support. xoxo
.-= Kat´s last blogblog…Updates, Spring Challenge and c25k =-.
Tomorrow is another day!
You’ll be back on track. One day can’t get us down!
.-= Chad´s last blogblog…Nutrition Monday: Good Riddance to the Easter Bunny! =-.
I’m sorry you struggled. But you know that tomorrow (today) is a brand new day and you just need to get back on track. Don’t let one day bring you down, everybody has bad days, ok?
.-= Diana´s last blogblog…A whole lotta food. And other stuff. =-.
Be gentle with yourself and don’t beat yourself up. We all have times like this. I am the queen of times like this!! I’m so proud of you for not drinking any of the coke, that’s awesome. I hope your back feels better. I know how much this 10K means to you.
.-= Lynne´s last blogblog…First “Official” Weigh in on New Scale =-.
Sorry to hear it wasn’t the best day. At least it wasn’t accompanied by an accident. Pick yourself back up today, and get back on track. You can do it Josie!
.-= South Beach Steve´s last blogblog…Motivation for Monday =-.
Don’t let it get you down! Your strong and can bounce back! You can get back on track today and everything will be a-okay. I know you can do it!
.-= Lauren´s last blogblog…Running and Magazine Giveaway! =-.
It’s not the end of the world, and you have the strength and willpower to fight through it. I hope today is a better day. Much love to you, Josie! *hugs*
Your last sentence says it all. Hey, you knew what you were doing, you even told us – can you say accountability! Good for you. Now just get back to business!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blogblog…Obesity, The Crisis, Jamie Oliver, My Feelings =-.
What’s great about tomorrow is that it gives you a clean slate.
I wouldn’t call resisting that coke a small victory. That’s huge, and you should celebrate it.
.-= Jeremy Logsdon´s last blogblog…An Easter Shout Out =-.
So cool that you didn’t drink the Coke. That is awesome!!!
Sorry you had a bad day and I hope today was better for you. Take care of your back.
I am also glad you were able to see the experience as something to learn from.
Congrats on the loss!
.-= Kimberley´s last blogblog…Worthy Cause Wednesday =-.
I hope you are feeling better tomorrow. I hope you don’t feel too guilty and beat yourself up over this. The road to weight loss is never straight, there will always be bumps in the road. Hopefully tomorrow you will feel like youself again!
Awww boo, sorry for the bad day. They happen. They will continue to happen. What we do with them is the battle that we face. I think that when we are given so many great experiences in a short amount of time our psyche(s) aren’t sure what to do or how to accept them so it tries to sabotage them.
Seriously, think about it. If a friend called you up and said “Josie, I’m having a horrible day. I’m gonna go out and eat crap to make myself feel better”. You’d reach right through that phone and give them a little “Oh you think you are are you?”
Why can’t we do that for ourselves?
I hope you find yourself in a better space when you read this. Take a deep breath. Give your face a good old rub and move on. It happened yesterday. It doesn’t mean it has to happen tomorrow.
.-= Tara´s last blogblog…Look both ways… =-.
Congrats on the weight loss and so sorry to hear about the back pain. I sure hope you get a feeling better and that your able to do the 10K as planned.
Stay positive and you will do better next time.
You know we all have those bad days were we don’t make the right choices. God, we are only human and aren’t perfect. What’s important is that you realized that and got it all out and was even able to stay away from the soda. That is a major accomplishment.
.-= Rob Perry´s last blogblog…CrossFit Day #1 =-.
You inspire me so much. Thanks for reminding me it’s okay to have bad days.
This new lifestyle is truly a dynamic process. You’ll be fine, I know it. But please don’t beat yourself up too much…just enough.
.-= beej´s last blogblog…Back in the Saddle =-.
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